I wasn’t in the best of moods. Poor Lor had to take the brunt of my discomfort and her ass humor wasn’t making it any better. Haha. This was some painful shit. I have gone through nasty treatments, bone marrow aspirations, big needles, broken bones, chemotherapy, etc. Huge internal hemorrhoids take the cake. Thank God for Morphine! There was no way that I would attempt a bowel movement and thankfully the pain meds slowed down that process. I couldn’t wait for Friday morning to come. I really had no idea what to expect but the suspense was killing me. Lori stayed with me until visiting hours ended and would be back in the morning before my ten AM surgery. I spoke to the boys that evening. Nick was already out in Los Angeles on his CoOp job with the Hiscox Insurance Company and Joe back in Canada.
I had to sign all of the usual pre surgical paperwork, and after, the Surgeon came in and prepped me on the procedure, I was on my way. Dr. Aberjan was a young doctor with crazy long red hair. He seemed pretty confident and I had no other choice but to let him handle these gremlins right now. The usual count down to zero, that you never make, left me sleeping soundly and hoping for the best. I woke up in the post-op bays, groggy as expected, with the nurses poking and prodding me and performing their jobs to get me up and moving back to my room upstairs. They still had me on Morphine but that would be short lived as the Doctor let me know that the operation went well and I should recuperate within the week. I would get to go home the next day with a generous helping of extra strength Tylenol and a return exam appointment in about a week. Sitting for a few days was not recommended. I left Doylestown Hospital Saturday afternoon with high hopes that my years of hemorrhoid issues were behind me. Lol.
Well, my return home went south real quick. Do you know how much of a difference there is in the pain threshold between Morphine and Tylenol? HUGE!! I was in agony! Not only was I constipated, the swelling continued as the sutures areas inside me burned and weeped. The pain was awful! I called the doctors emergency line. Unfortunately, a script for narcotics has to be hand written and not just called in to a pharmacy. I would have to eke it out until Monday morning. The script for Percocet would be waiting at nine AM at his office. I was freaking there at 8:45. I went right to the pharmacy and then right home to medicate. The medicine gave me relief. It was like having a sword up your butt, twisting and turning, creating havoc in your rectum. The worst! I needed to rest and relax for a few more days. My follow-up with my GP was Thursday. No moving or pooping yet. No way!!
While I was recuperating, I needed to go to the store for a few hours one day. I needed to meet a good friend there to show him a big diamond for his wife. It was an urgent situation and it had to be done. He was depending on me for his anniversary, a big sale. It was a tough job. I felt feverish and the pain unbearable. I couldn’t wait to finish the sale so I could get back home in bed. My follow up with my GP was the next day. I needed rest. While I was supposed to be making progress by now, the percocet pills were the only thing keeping me sane. The pain remained unbearable. On Thursday, I drove myself to the doctors office as Lor had to work and nobody else was around. My GP Dr. Fissel began his examination of the area and gasped as he separated my cheeks. “This is not good”, he said in an urgent tone. “You need to get to the ER at Doylestown Hospital right away! My situation was grim. A Cellulitis infection was spreading throughout the rectum and deeper inside. It was a dangerous, infectious scenario that I was in. Hence the continued unbearable pain. He would call ahead to the hospital to prepare me a room and I to Lor to let her know of my predicament.It would be back into a pre-op room where I was fitted with a new IV pole and several very strong antibiotics. Cellulitis is a big thing I found out. A very painful thing. Morphine was added again…thank you! This would turn out to be a week long stay. Summer of 2017 sucked! Luckily, my friend Sherrie helped Nadine out at the store. The summer is usually slow so my absence wasn’t too bad for business. Meanwhile, one evening during my stay, the urge to have a bowel movement hit me and after two weeks, this was going to be ugly. Two young nurses were on duty that evening and I think that I left a new understanding of constipated- internal hemorrhoid stitched, need to go-respect on them. If the screaming in the bathroom didn’t impress them, the bloody toilet and the rush to get more Morphine in me woke them up real quick! ARHGGG!
As the week played out and the pain became more manageable, the Cellulitis succumbed to the relentless attack of the antibiotics and I would be a free man again. Free to sleep in my own bed and suffer on my own toilet. My ass had now been killing me for three weeks. It was time for some relief. Big relief!
Next Up: Uh-Oh… No Way!