Time was moving at a more relaxed and in much less stressful of a pace. It was the summer of 2001 and I began my first foray into coaching Baseball with Nick. I was trying to feel so much better, both in body and mind. Gaining weight and gaining confidence. My quarterly bloodwork was showing astonishing results. My White counts were virtually normal as well as my other pertinent blood markers. My PCR results were encouraging too. There was no more need for the dreaded bone marrow aspirations as the protocol testing was behind me but the statistics were being kept just the same. My Hemoglobin was still not recovering as well as expected but the fatigue was not holding me back. I was focused on my goal. A full hematalogical response. No sign of any CML in my bone marrow or blood. Hopefully the drug will live up to expectations and rid me of this burden.
My store was rolling along and we were making a real go of it at our new location. The hours were shorter and we had two days off now with our customers getting comfortable with the change of venue. I was getting back to the groove and back to a normal life again. That didn’t last too long. I received a letter from my new landlord that my new location was to be torn down and replaced by a Target Department store. The letter stated that within one year, I needed to vacate the premises and my lease would be terminated. Well, lucky me! I really didn’t have enough going on at the time…did I? I was offered, as a consolation, a store around the corner on Cottman Avenue. In a larger shopping center with greater visibility, the store was a former ice cream shop that had been vacant for some time. The landlord would help with the relocation and give me free rent for four months as a perk for being such a good sport. It was my only option. Here we go again. November 2002 would be our target to complete the move just in time for the Christmas rush. There was a lot of prep, construction, money and time involved with this one. Time to prepare.
My staff and family were caught off guard just as much as I was. After barely a minute to relax, more stress and much more work lie ahead. We were heading into the fall season. The warmup to Christmas and the mayhem that comes with it. First thing first, we finish the holiday season then plan for the move. But I also had other things going on. The battle that I had just went through over the last year and a half, and so far was playing in my favor, had done a number on my psyche. Mentally, unbeknownst to mostly everyone, I was in horrible shape. The quiet, internal, intense test of my will to live “Again”, had changed me. To fight on through the daily rigors of the onslaught of bad news, bad test results, bad everything day after day…week after week. The misery was constant and relentless. Remission. I was in remission back in 1999. No more. It was two years later and the “R” word had still escaped me. It’s all I wanted. All that I needed again. Dr.Dave couldn’t give me an answer either. I was a Guinea pig still. A test dummy. An empty shell waiting to be filled with the hope of yet another birth. A rebirth that could maybe make me whole again. Cancer takes such a huge physical toll on you. Mentally, it’s worse. I needed to hear that word again. “Remission”. How about it Dr. Dave? I’m hurtin.
Next up: The Big Move.