Tag: #cancerblog

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The Results

It had been about a month since my CML diagnosis and almost two weeks since my siblings were blood tested for their DNA markers to see if they would be a match to mine. A six out of six marker match would be the ideal outcome and provide the best situation for success. It felt like forever but Dr. Topolsky said it would take around two weeks for the results.

There was a lot of speculation as to which one of my siblings would be a match, if any of them. It was very possible that none of them would be. This was quite normal as my research into the percentage of success showed that possibility. I read about many bone marrow transplant patients that had to rely on the National Bone Marrow Registry for their donor or have a transplant using their own marrow which was radiated to remove the cells that would cause the CML. This type of transplant was not very effective.

The competitive nature of our family made the wait somewhat interesting. Bets were being thrown out there and odds laid out. My brother Glenn was 14 months younger than me. He had blond hair and blue eyes. I had brown hair and brown eyes. He was a clean freak, honor student and a soccer player. I was kind of a slob, attended school and an Ice hockey player. His odds seemed low. Plus I was much better looking. My sister Donna was six years younger, also had blond hair and blue eyes, also an honor student, a lot like Glenn. So far not looking good. Then there was Lisa. She was twelve years younger than me, an oops baby, lol, but had brown hair and brown eyes. She looked a lot like me, was a good student and although she was much younger than me seemed like the frontrunner. Genetically, it made sense.

So Lisa…Glenn…Donna. Thats where I had it. When the phone finally rang with Dr. T on the line, I hoped that a winner would be revealed. He was very excited and the news was terrific. A perfect six for six match on the DNA! On the first shot we nailed it! Genetics are very interesting we found out. My six for six identical match had blond hair, blue eyes and a different blood type than I. Dr. Topolsky explained to me that our winner, Glenn, was conceived in such a short amount of time after me that it may have played a large part in the result.

Needless to say, Donna and Lisa were disappointed but nevertheless overjoyed by the outcome. I had a match and was again moving forward. The transplant coordinator would be in touch very soon to set up my appointments for the next two weeks and set the date that I would be admitted to begin the transplant. So much to take in and prepare for. As happy as we all were, I know that Glenn was probably the happiest of us all. He would have the chance to save my life.

Next up: When Your Child Has Cancer.

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Officially a Cancer Patient and a special Ultrasound

It felt good to be home. So thankful for my employees who were taking care of my business. I had no time at this point to focus on anything but the immediate future and what would soon transpire. The business was running well and I had faith in my people.

I called Dr. Topolsky’s office and scheduled my first appointment right away as instructed and would be seen in a few days. The office in Hanahmen Hospital was that of Dr. I Brodsky and Associates and named for Philadelphia Flyer Barry Ashbee who passed from Leukemia during his career. Specifically the ” Philadelphia Flyers Fight For Lives” cancer center. It would become my main health hub for the next 22 years. Hated the traffic though.

The next few days were just a whirlwind of phone calls to and from family, friends, business associates. Insurance companies…you name it. There was no time to pity myself anymore, although the “Why me?” mantra had settled in quite well. “Why me ?”…who knows. Since I was the only one of my lifelong friends who never drank, never smoked, never did drugs, etc,etc. They all vowed to continue with their vices since, well, maybe I hadn’t poisoned my body enough! Thanks!

The waiting room at I. Brodsky on the 15th floor was bustling. Apparently, cancer was a big business. Lori had escorted me on the appointment and we signed in and began filling out mounds of paperwork. After a while I was called back by a nurse to start the process of my first appointment as a cancer patient. First stop the scale…ugh. 185 ok. Next the blood draw seat…Across from the scale. 10 vials of blood later, I’m off to an exam room and a 25 minute wait. Every appointment started with an exam by an Oncology resident and some questions…the same for over twenty years. But this was different. This was my first appointment.

Dr. Dave Topolsky, nice to meet you Mr. Keenan as he shook my hand.. That would change quickly to Dr. Dave or just Dave and of course Jeff or KEEENNANN! He was a phenomenal guy. He was different. Avid rock climber and outdoorsman. Long curly black hair and beard…grateful dead esque. From Northeast Philly. Gave it to you straight. Always..well almost always..upbeat. He laid it out to me quickly. Lots of bloodwork to come.. Your siblings, your parents and anyone else after that if needed. Needed to find a matching donor. ASAP! Dave explained that it was important to move quickly before the disease could advance to the Blast Crisis phase. There was no cure for that. The bone marrow transplant was my only choice to survive. Or not. The transplant had a 50/50 chance of survival during the procedure and a 50/50 chance after. After a long question and answer session,there was the obligatory bone marrow Aspiration. Here we go again. Grab the top of the table as tight as possible, curl your toes at the end of the table…you know the drill. And here it comes…Motherf$@%#@!

That was enough for the first trip. Set up the next appointment, down the elevator. When we made it to the car, I looked at Lors bulging baby bump and I said to my wife that we needed to have an ultrasound done. I needed to find out what was cooking in there so we could unofficially meet and give a name to this child whom I might never get to meet. She agreed to set it up. Another exhausting day. Time to get home and squeeze my sonny boy Nick. Much needed therapy.

Next up: His name is Joseph

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Finishing Florida and the Call Seals the Deal.

The week in Florida wore on as the reality of the situation sat on my shoulders like the rays of the Orlando sun … Relentless. A few days by the pool just relaxing, conversing with friends and playing with Nick helped the time pass by. We enjoyed dinners out and a few more parks and sights to see, as these diversions helped to pull me away from the darkness.

At night, I entered into an alternate state of despair. With Nick tucked in and sleeping soundly, my attention and my anguish was directed towards another major facet in this fight. As my wife Lori lay beside me I would put my hand on her big belly and try to connect with the little person growing inside. With four more months to go the questions would run on in my head like a broken record. ” Will I ever get to meet my child”? Will they ever get to meet their dad? What would he or she look like? Will I ever get to hold my baby? It just wasn’t my future I was worried about. It was theirs. How would they grow up without me? How could I leave my wife so young to raise the kids on her own? We had to get home and get this show on the road. I needed more answers, more education and more time at home to be able to process this mess.

As we prepared to make our way back home, the call from Dr. Terzian came in. The Bone Marrow Aspiration confirmed the diagnoses. I Had Cancer. I asked him if this was one hundred percent certain as far as the lab testing was concerned. Was there any way that they could be wrong. A Hail Mary question I guess. He told me that I could always get another opinion but he was very certain. I would not have to see him again as he recommended me to a young Oncologist at Hanahmen Hospital in the city named Dr. David Topolsky. He would begin the process of testing myself and my family first as potential donors for a potential Bone Marrow Transplant. Dr. Dave wasn’t playin…as soon as I got home… I needed to be there. No delays.

We thanked the Selvaggios for graciously having us and helping us navigate this crazy week with what should have been a fun filled vacation and get together. Who would have known. The trek back to Pa. was on. Another two days of driving with my eyes focused more on the rear view mirror than on the road ahead of me. Staring at my beautiful baby boy. Staring at my beautiful baby boy.😔

Next: An ultrasound and I am officially a Cancer Patient.

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Never Never Quit

The conversation at Aunt Michele’s was solemn but informative. Well as informative as we could be at the time and it wasn’t very much. Nick was finally asleep and we spoke about my pending situation into the night until I had to excuse myself. I was mentally and physically exhausted. It was a long trip. I needed to sleep. Lori and Michele were friends for years and years. Best friends from the Bronx. They would catch up for a while and I’m sure Lor needed some time alone without me to talk about how she was feeling. Old friends are good for that.

We got an early start. A quick breakfast and on our way to Orlando. About a 30 minute ride and there it was! Disney World! Nick was so excited! I had never been there either so we were set to go. I kept my best smile face on as best as I could as we rode the rides and went to the attractions and ate fun food. And then…The Lion King Show. Nick loved the Lion King. It was great. A phenomenal show and Nick was loving it! I was holding him up in front of me so he could see better. Then it happened. The scene where Simba watches his father Mustafa die in the stampede while saving him in the last second. It tore me apart. Not knowing if I would be around for him, to save him, to be there for whatever he would need. How could that happen? Only one or two years to live? This wasn’t real was it? Just a baby watching your father die? I pressed my nose to the back of Nicks neck. I smelled his hair, his sweat, his beautiful baby soft skin. And I just kept breathing it in. He didn’t see the tears flowing down my cheeks. The way I was shaking and grabbing him so tight. It was traumatic in the moment for me and I never ever forgot that smell. That incomprehensible feeling of guilt that I would deprive him of a father at such a young age. I had to get out of there. Thank God it was almost over. I held on tight and just kept it together. No way I was leaving my boy. Not now, not ever.

Nick never realized the trauma I was experiencing behind him. He was too young to grasp the situation and he wouldn’t know anything about my battle for a long time. As the day wore down, of course we had to stop in the gift shop. Mickey T’s and Disney Collectibles and of course whatever Nick wanted. As I wandered around the shop waiting for Lori to finish up I noticed a quartz rock that was inscribed with what would stick with me as my mantra for 24 years….”Never Never Quit” it said. This rock would follow me every step of my way. It was gospel. It was true. I would ” Never Never Quit” …that was for sure.

Next up: My wife was 5 months pregnant.

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The Phone Call

May, 23rd 1996

Preparations for our trip were going well. The car was packed the night before and the excitement was evident as it was hard to fall asleep that night. Our first family vacation together, we couldnt wait to get going. Nick was going to see Mickey Mouse for the first time and my beautiful wife Lori would be making the trip 5 months pregnant with our second child tagging along for the ride. We decided to be surprised again, boy or girl, like when Nick was born, so no name yet for baby number two. Great things were happening for us! Departure time was approximately 11 am and we were set to go!

The next morning as we were making our final preparations for our departure, the phone rang. Quite early though, around 8 am. My wife answered the phone and told me that it was Dr. Ciecko. He needed to speak with me. Hmm. Mr. Keenan, he said with his quiet voice, we would like for you to come in this morning to Aria hospital to recheck your bloodwork. That there were some inconsistencies in the blood sample and they wanted to repeat them. Of course, I asked if we could wait until we returned from our trip. We were ready to leave shortly and it would be inconvenient to go there at this time. Sternly and direct Dr. Ciecko told me that the appointment was already set for nine am and I needed to be there. This was very disconcerting and needless to say very upsetting. Lori and I asked our neighbors to watch Nick for us since she already had plans to stop by her work for a couple minutes and I needed to head to the hospital. What could be so urgent? Something is not good, I thought. My mind was going a mile a minute. This day was not be starting out the way we thought it would be. Lori would meet me at Frankford Torresdale Hospital.

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Just Rolling

May 21st 1996

Life was good. Business was good. I had just a bit of a cold that wouldn’t leave me alone. Nick, my son was 2 1/2 years old. A happy, healthy young boy who couldn’t wait to leave for our trip to Disney World in a couple of days. We were driving down to Florida and staying with great friends near Orlando for ten days. A much needed vacation we were really looking forward to.

But first, a quick trip to the doctor. The first time in many years that I had been to a doctor. I needed to get something for this nagging cough before we left. I set up an appointment with a nearby office and was to see a brand new physician that was new to the practice, Dr. Ciecko. A nice, soft spoken man, Dr. Ciecko examined me and prescribed an antibiotic for my condition. We spoke about a few health related tests that I should be thinking about. I was 35 years old and told the doctor that I had a family history of colon cancer. Dr. Ciecko thought it might be wise to draw some bloodwork in case I wanted to have a colonoscopy done in the future. A quick trip to the lab and I was done with my visit. Thanks, Dr. Ciecko.

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Surviving CML- LEUKEMIA

I’ve been told that I should write a book. My Doctors have told me that I am one of the longest living survivors of this insidious disease that for so long was a death sentence.

I decided to initiate a blog to tell my story and maybe bring hope and health to those newly diagnosed with CML or one of the varieties of Leukemia or commiserate with those who are currently living with the disease for the short and long term.

My name is Jeff Keenan and I have been dealing with CML for 27 years. My blog will tell you my story of this roller coaster ride of emotional and physical ups and downs, scares and suffering, triumphs and elation, tears and joy.

I hope that my experiences and their outcomes will help those in need of answers to the long term management and life living with this disease.

I will chronicle my journey in great detail through my blog from beginning to my current situation…27 years as of May, 23rd 1996. You never forget the day when an Oncologist tells you that you may only have one to two years to live.

I am new to blogging and hope to master the concept as well as be able to discuss and give helpful advice, good vibes, and pertinent info to all.

Jeff