Now What?

So, as I was expecting, the results of my bloodwork at the end of the three month wait period were not what we expected. This was the culmination of two Donor Lymphocyte Infusions over a seven month period. The collaboration of all to stop the proliferation of the Leukemia from aggressively attacking my body. A valiant effort that fell far short of expectations. My White Cell counts were rising… Rapidly. Ok, Dr. Dave… Now What?

This failure was very disheartening to me. We were approaching the fourth anniversary of my original diagnosis. It was panic time as far as I was concerned. How could this be possible. I had so much faith in the process, so much faith in my doctors, so much hope in my heart and my mind. There were these two beautiful little boys counting on me to pull through for them. Nicky and Joey were too young to understand the dire situation unfolding before their eyes. It was beyond my comprehension four years ago that I could possibly not see my beloved boys grow up. To be there for them. My Dad was such a positive and guiding influence in my life. He always had my back. Especially now. He always took care of me no matter what the situation. All of my siblings could count on that too. I would emulate that role model. My boys would also be able to count on me no matter what. I was so fortunate to have known this love that my current situation made it all the worse in my mind. As bad as I felt four years ago, I felt ten times worse now. I felt hopeless. I needed to live…not leave.

Dr. Dave had his office call me to set up an appointment for the second week of May. He would need to perform another Bone Marrow aspiration to get a better in depth scenario of the extent of my disease. He also wanted to discuss information he had received about a new drug that was in its first FDA trial. A drug that was showing promising results. A drug that could possibly save my life. At this point, I was up for anything. The window on my world was closing quickly. Aside from this new miracle drug, the only other option to treat me at this point was another Bone Marrow Transplant. I wouldn’t survive a second one. That I knew.

Next Up: The Appointment from Hell