Many who know me, know that I would always be there to help. My family, my friends and my customers always came first. You have a problem, I’ll be there. How can I help? This good nature and goodwill came back to me in spades. We had so many volunteers to donate blood and platelets that some friends were put on an on-call wait list. How lucky was I!
I had rapidly begun to feel the nasty effects of such wicked chemotherapy agents as I was receiving them constantly and without abatement. I would get feverish, nauseous, itchy all over and bad headaches. Just an overall awful state of being, no way to live. I felt so weak and had to sleep a lot to get by. I wasn’t hungry at all and if I was…everything tasted like shit. Like metallic shards in your mouth. I existed on IV fluids, IV food and watermelon. Watermelon and CheeseIts crackers. The only food I could taste. Usually threw it up anyway.
In the altered state that I was in, was often interrupted by visitors whom had come in to give blood for me. I wasn’t much of a host, but tried to perform the best that I could. I really looked awful. I lost all of my hair. I was losing weight rapidly. Yuk! My sister Lisa made up the donor schedule and she really threw me a curveball this day. About 1 pm on the seventh and last day of my chemo, the charge nurse came to tell me that I had a visitor. No problem, I guess I would be able to handle them. The curtain opened and I froze for a sec. I said” What, am I dreaming”? Tears started flowing down her face. With the surgical mask on I could make them out along the side of her face. It had been many years since we had seen each other. I said “Are you lost”? LOL. She looked great. My first longterm love , my high school sweetheart…Theresa. She had found out through friends that I was very ill and in need of help. Although she was deemed unfit for platelet donation…we were the same blood type and she was able to give blood. She was so happy to see me and be able to help in some way. We spoke for the time she was able to stay there and enjoyed swapping stories of our kids and families and how happy she was in her current situation. It was a nice reunion. I thanked her and she said that she would keep in touch with Lisa. I knew she would.
Round two ….another knock on the door. This time the nurse had this big beautiful bouquet of flowers. Big! Only problem was that flowers were not allowed in the unit because of the sensitive issues the patients had with their immunosuppression. The nurse said take a good look from your bubble….and they gotta go! I felt terrible, they were so nice. The nicest bouquet in the unit in a very long time as per the nurse crew. Sooo…where did they come from? No way…now entering the room in gowned up fashion was girlfriend number two! I could see the tears coming down her face too. I must have looked really bad! Lisa was another beautiful young lady that I had the pleasure to go out with for a while. She had actually taken care of me when I snapped my ankle in half during an ice hockey mens league game. On Super Bowl Sunday! And then while in agony on the way back to my house, completely tore up the gears on my RX-7 while following my dad and I back from the hospital. The screaching sound of my grinding clutch hurt worse than my broken leg! Lisa cooked for me, took me to doctor appts. Etc. She was a great girl. I hadn’t seen her for a while either and it was nice to catch up. We were friends for many years. She also gave blood and was there to help. I felt special. It was a nice day. A tough day.
After Lisa left it was time for the true love of my life to be arriving. Lori would usually be there by 3:30. Like clockwork. She loved me no matter how bad I looked. She always looked so beautiful at eight months pregnant and always made me smile. Fill me in on my boy please! It had been over a week now since I had seen Nicky. I missed him so much. The nights got harder everyday as the pain and the hunger and the worry just piled up on me. I told Lor about my visitors and she thought that it was really nice that they were there to help. So did I. My parents would be coming down the next day and the day thereafter because my brother was being admitted in two days, early in the morning to have his marrow harvested for the transplant.
It was getting later and Lor was going to have to get going. It was so special that she was there for me every day. And Joseph. I always worried about her driving back and forth so much. She was tough though. She had to be.
So it was getting late, more Morphine, more chemo, more feeling like shit and I needed some rest, it was a long day. The phone rang and I assumed it was my Nicky calling.” Hello buddy”. It wasn’t Nick. ” Jeff. It’s Dave”. “Who”? “Dave Linsalata”.
The Linsalata family had been customers of mine since the time I had moved up to the Roosevelt Mall. Mr.&Mrs. Linsalata. Mark and Maggie, David and Cindy, their other brothers and sisters and nephews…etc. A great Italian family from the NorthEast. They became like family over 30 years. I went to their weddings…their special events and their funerals. Dave sounded very distraught. I thought maybe he was worried about me or something. No. In an exasperated tone, he said ” Cindy broke up with me!”. He was crying and hyperventilating and rambling on about how was he going to handle this, etc. This guy is 6 foot 5…270 lbs. Not one to be so vulnerable I would assume. Cindy was this petite young lady, but man did she have his number! In my very frail voice, I told him that what will be …will be. She knows what a great catch she had and there was no way that I was taking the engagement ring back! Figure it out, I’m literally dying here! I was kind of honored that he called me when he was so distressed. I could barely hold the phone or stay conscious at that point and wished him luck. Suck it up, it will be fine bud, she’ll be back…click! And I was out. What a day!
Next up: Chemo 1/ Counts 0
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