Chemo…Chemo…Chemo

The call finally came in. “Hi Daddy”. My smile lit up the room. It was short but sweet. At only two and a half years old, the joy he brought to me was just unprecedented. ” I love you Daddy”….”Good luck”. Thats all I needed. Let’s get this party started.

Dr. Dave entered the room with his contagious smile, Jerry Garcia hair and equally large entourage. I knew what was coming next. ” Assume the position Keenan”, “You know what time it is”. This would be my fourth and his third bone marrow aspiration performed on me. We had the regimen down pat.

The first needle was small and used to numb the upper layer of the skin. The second needle was longer and heavier, used to deliver Lidocaine directly to the hip bone. Dr. T. would tap the point of the needle into the bone gently to deliver the anesthetic until i couldnt feel the needle anymore. Next up was the dangerously sharp, awl style, super thick needle with a diamond encrusted tip. Dave would use a step stool sometimes to gain height and strength advantage to be able to put enough pressure on the awl to get it through my hip bone. He said that I had the hardest bones in the world. Dave had strong hands and forearms, the rock climber that he was. He traveled all over the U.S. conquering mountains and formations for fun. This was not fun. Push, grind, push, grind….POP!! “Ok bud…we’re in”. No shit Dave. Now the real fun. The top of the awl twisted off and the diamond bit needle slid out. A tube was now open into the marrow portion of your hip bone. Then a very large hypodermic needle was inserted into the tube and into the marrow itself. Pause please…my chance to grab the top of the bed, bury my face in the pillow, and curl my toes around the bottom of the bed or table. “Ready Jeff…on three”. “One, two…three.” He would slowly draw up on the plunger trying not to go too fast. The thick marrow would fill the large syringe body until it was full. There was no anesthetic inside your bone. The pain as the needle drew upon the marrow was so intense that I often compared it to sucking your testicle through your nose!! It was just awful. Just horrible. An experience you’ll never forget. The needle is withdrawn and the large amount of blood created drains out of the hole and then plugged up with a compression bandage. Then another one. Very unpleasant. The team was just getting started.

As soon as i could catch my breath the Chemo nurse, as she was called, showed up to begin my first treatment. Two bags of poison today, then two more tomorrow, and each day thereafter for a total of six days. The drugs didn’t look as ominous as I thought they would. Just normal bags of fluid. This was nasty stuff, Dr. Dave told me. Also, that I would be watched twenty four hours a day. Round the clock. Side effects would be apparent and intense. I would be given an amount of chemo strong enough to destroy my immune system and all of my bone marrow. Done effectively, I would technically be brought as close to death as I possibly could be. This by the end of the week.. The bags were hung and the lines attached to my Hickman Catheter. I watched them be attached to the IV machines and then the release of the drugs into my body. It’s official. The show has begun. I am the star. Let’s turn on the TV, get me some pain meds, and leave me alone. I need to process the situation and see what follows. Its not going to be pretty. I looked at my rock… ” Never, Never, Quit.” Never happen… I’m in it to win it.

Next up: Where am I ?