As the summer ended and my ass was finally becoming the friend that I needed it to be, peace and tranquility were the new norm in my life. I was like walking on water. No pain, no pus, no swelling and no problems. I felt incredible! So many years of pain and torture gone! Sure it took three months of hell, but right now, it was all worth it! Just in time for the October busy season, heading into Christmas, I was in full speed mode filling up the store and getting ready to play Santa. Nick was back from sunny California, taking his three final courses that he needed to graduate from Temple, then would be heading back to LA again to begin his career In Risk Management. We were so excited for him. His graduation from Temple University would be in the second week of February. A great ceremony, post lunch celebration and then right to Philly Airport a few days later where his new adventures would begin to take flight.
In the end of October, Nick came into our bedroom one evening to discuss the move to his new diggs in Redondo Beach. A shared triplex where Nick would occupy the basement for $1200 per month. A nice setup near the beach. But wait, there was more. He handed Lori his phone while announcing to us that he was now in a relationship. Lori looked at the screen and said ” Oh, it’s a guy?”. She went to hand me the phone and I just put my hand up. I didn’t want to see it. A difficult, awkward, unexpected moment for both of us. The pain of my response was evident as Nick became very emotional and asked me” What did I ever do to you?”. He rushed out of our bedroom in tears, obviously hurting. I had no words. Nick being gay was always a reality of mine for his entire life. The many, many girl friends, but never a relationship. The summers on the beach, girls going out of their way to gain his eye but never any response by Nick. Even girls giving him phone numbers to no avail. I knew the day would come when he would be ready to jump that proverbial fence. After all, my oldest first cousin Bill came out as gay after birthing five children and being married to his wife for 16 years! Being ready for it was another thing. I felt so bad when he left the room. I knew that I had hurt him. It took so much guts for him to reveal his truth to us and relieve the anxiety that was building up inside of him for so many years. I texted Joey in Canada. Apparently, Joe was the first to know. They were brothers who were pretty close and even though Joey was in Canada, living and playing hockey, Nick would reveal his secret to him first. Thankfully, that went well. Meanwhile, Rome was burning in Doylestown. A quiet, tense night and a massive announcement to digest. Nick was right. He had never given me reason not to be anything but proud of him. Never! A wonderful, intelligent, warm, caring, helping and phenomenal student and person. Loved by everyone. Pure gold. This wasn’t his problem, it was mine. Lori understood the complexity of the situation and gave me some space and time to digest. I love this boy more than life. He has been nothing but the perfect son in our lives..so handsome, so smart, so accomplished. He grew up in such an awful situation with my Leukemia. The week would prove to be quite emotionally intense. Something had to give. I needed to open up, handle the situation.
Meanwhile, I had a long conversation with a jewelry vendor that I’ve had a thirty year relationship with during the week. We spoke of Nick and the situation at hand. He asked me if I had heard about another jewelry store owner in New Jersey who was recently in the same situation. His son had come out to the family. He was nineteen years old and headed to college. That situation went way worse. The boys father physically harmed the young man, threw him out of the house and cut him off financially. No money, no home, no college and no love. How awful. A week later, the boy went missing and the family found out that their son had hung himself. How awful is that? I couldn’t imagine!!
After our conversation, I immediatly called my Nick and told him how much I loved him, how wonderful he is and how I would make sure that I would support him in everything he did. “His Name is Elliot…dad”, he said. “Got it buddy. I love you son”. “Give me some time, I’m still your biggest fan”. I hung up the phone and cried. When I got home, I hugged him so hard. My son is gay. So what? It had to be so hard and take a huge amount of courage to make this known to Lori and I…and the world. Live your life Nick. I got your back. I love you so much…I Promise… Dad.
Next Up: Bang!!!