A Pause

Today, May, 23rd 2021, I take a break in writing about my cancer journey to acknowledge the 25th anniversary of my Leukemia diagnosis. May, 23rd 1996 was one of the worst days of my life. The day that you hear those three words, “You Have Cancer”, will be the day that defines the rest of your life. After so many years surviving the disease that is Leukemia, I look upon this adventure as more of an awakening. Having so many ups and downs over this long period of time has opened my eyes to extremes that so many may never appreciate…or would want to. Extremes of pain, endurance, sadness, happiness, accomplishment and defeat. Extremes of every imaginable physical and emotional degree. Especially, Love. You will appreciate and hold close every ounce of love you have to give and are given in return. Every kiss, every hug, every smile and every milestone is special when you are a cancer patient. Especially with your children. Silent tears triggered by almost any thought, smell, song, whatever, become the norm. It may not show a lot, but know that everyone who experiences the trauma of cancer, especially those who have fought through a difficult battle or those whom eventually succumb, cherished life’s every moment. Every moment.

I want to thank everyone. My Wife, My Boys, My Brother, My Parents, My Sisters, My Family, My Friends, My Coworkers, My Doctors, Nurses, Customers and everyone who has helped me survive and thrive along the way. I couldn’t have made it without you all. I hope that everyone who reads my blog becomes enlightened by the journey one takes when fighting Leukemia. Every cancer journey is not the same but equally important. Since beginning my blog, so many readers have opened up to me about their own diagnosis or a family members journey. My story is just one of so many. I appreciate your readership. I began writing Survivingcmlnow.com one year ago. A diversion from the horrible reality, loss and seclusion we were experiencing with Covid 19. A self induced form of therapy after so many years of keeping everything inside of me. It has been an insightful and emotional experience. I have a long way to go, a lot of story left to tell. My hopes are to be able to finish on a good note.

But numbers matter. Survival matters. 25 years managing cancer is a long time. An added lifetime for me. Lori and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage in February. I watched Nick turn 27 in March and will see Joe turn 25 in September. And myself…60 this September. Milestones I once thought, twice thought, three and four times thought, I would never see. It may be selfish to say, I am wishing for many more milestones and memories. I have lost so many family members, friends and customers to cancer. Many are fighting right now. I am blessed to have made it this far. In a fast forward, spoiler moment, yes please keep reading and “enjoying” my blog, my current situation has been again tentative to say the least. With a third relapse in 2019, new medication, new side effects and trips to the U of P Abramson Cancer Center…every three months…the battle continues. My life. You’d never know. KEEP READING! My blog continues next week!

Love to All…Jeff

Next Up: Christmas 2000