Life is a beautiful thing. I knew this. After I was diagnosed with Leukemia, I couldn’t hurt a fly. Seriously. Literally. Life was so precious to me. Unless it was for food, my sentiments made it impossible to hurt any living creature. Flies, ants, spiders, you name it. The thought of squashing even the tiniest of bugs killed me. I couldn’t imagine hunting for sport. Sunrises, sunsets, thunder storms, snowstorms all welcomed as daily miracles. My children… well, they were the world to me. I’m sure that all of those affected by cancer can agree. Especially if you’ve experienced relapse and the constant threat of your own demise. Today would be a big day. Cancer wasn’t going to be squashing me.
Lori would be accompanying me for the first time to JHU and we decided to drive down to Baltimore the night before my third appointment. I hadn’t received any call over the last two weeks about my results from the last appointment. I was so looking forward to those results. Hoping for something positive. We got a needed alone break for a night and Lor got a day off from work. The day would mirror the same as the last two trips to JHU, visit with Dr. Miller, bloodwork, bone marrow aspiration and lunch at O’Bricky’s. We just need some good results.
The moment that I had been waiting for was here. After arriving for my appointment around 10 am., Lori and I were escorted to Dr. Miller’s office for our bi-weekly consult. It went well. My WBC count came down a little bit, my cytogenics showed a little improvement and my PCR results were trending somewhat positive. Hallelujah! Was I out of the woods yet? By no means, but Dr. Miller was excited. These results were on par with other patients that had been in the first trial or currently were in the 2nd phase trial of STI-571. Encouraging news was everything that I needed to hear at this point. I was so drained. Dr. Miller explained that the drug started to eliminate the Leukemic cells in my marrow. Since the bad cells were overwhelmeing the good cells in my marrow at this point, killing them off would leave me neutropenic or unable to fight infection until the trend reversed itself. My Hemoglobin and Platelets would also trend very low as the drug did its job. We would have to monitor these anomalies very carefully and react as needed. Isolation, infusions of blood and platelets, special drugs to build up my Lymphocytes and antibiotics. Just more fun, fun ,fun!
Our meeting went well and I was off to the torture chambers. Today would be different though. Lori was invited into the Bone Aspiration Unit to accompany me during the process. Never before in the last four years has anyone in my family ever witnessed the doctors performing the procedure on me. She accepted the invite and we waited in the office waiting room for my turn. It went all downhill from there. Two young ladies were escorted into each of the two rooms to have their first time Aspirations done for whatever diagnosis afflicting them. A very slight Asian woman and a younger teen were up to bat. It started out quietly as the crescendo built up loudly and rapidly. The screams from both rooms were loud and blood curdling. A very disconcerting symphony. It was bad. My wife was having second thoughts about joining me when it was my turn. We were asked by the techs to grab a cup of coffee or something. My procedure would be delayed as they would need to sedate these patients and it would be a while before my turn. I understood. I felt bad. The first time, hell anytime, was terrible as far as this thing was concerned. The phrase ” this sucks” always prefaced every time that I laid on that table awaiting my fate and that humongous needle. We adjourned to the Cafe to wait on our call to join in the festivities. I wish that I could be sedated when it was my turn. No such luck. I’m a tough guy.
When the time had come to hit the table Lor was given a chair to sit on near the top of the gurney next to my head. I personally had never witnessed the procedure since I was always positioned in a way such that watching the process was not possible. Lori had a front row view. The Platinum blond tech, my favorite, explained the procedure to Lori and walked her through it step by step. First the small novacaine injection to numb the surface area. Then the long Lidocaine needles that numbed the surface of the bone. I could see Lors face the entire time. Slight discomfort during the second needles as the tech gently tapped on the end of the needle to help penetrate the bone. Now the diamond tipped awl. As the awl penetrates the skin, the large hole it creates, causes a large amount of blood to begin running down your back and leg. It’s always cool and wet. Lors discomfort began escalating quickly as the faces that she made were very telling. It was almost fun watching. As the tech bore down harder and harder on my hip, twisting and turning the needle, her grimaces became more intense. Hey, I wasn’t having the greatest of time either! POP!! She pierced the bone. Now we draw the marrow out. Like sucking thick bloody mucus through a tiny straw. And the pain. Oh, the pain. No anesthetic there. Lori’s face was contorted at this point and she finally turned away. I think I noticed a tear running down her cheek. It had to be hard to watch. We finished up. I got cleaned up, bandaged, dressed and was given a few minutes to collect myself. I could tell that Lori felt my pain. She said that she just felt so bad, not realizing how traumatic the experience actually was. How painful it actually was. I could tell her time after time about that pain but unless you actually witness it, you can’t imagine. I would always tell all of the student docs monitoring the procedure that they really needed to experience an Aspiration on themselves. To feel for the patients that they will treat. No one ever obliged. They looked at me like I was crazy!
We got the hell out of there. Two more weeks we’ll be back though. Now off to O’Bricky’s! It was Lors turn to be in discomfort now. I married a butchers daughter. Seafood rarely graced the table of the New York Peduzzi household. The meats were glorious…. but seafood?? Rarely. She found something to eat though. Her go to shrimp po boy. Usually the extent of her seafood palate. I watched as the half dozen hardshells dropped in front of me steaming away while the old bay gave off that familiar sweet and spicy aroma. With the sores in my mouth improving every week, the taste of the crabs were even more glorious. I’ll see you in two more weeks Baltimore. Can’t wait!
Next up: Is Fatigue a Side Effect?