Mid July, 1999, it was time for my semi annual trip to see Dr. Dave. It was now three years plus since my original CML diagnosis and life was just great. The move to the new store was going well and at five and three years old…Nick and Joe were just a blast. My whole world. My goal when I was originally told that I had cancer was to see Nick go to Kindergarten and of course meet Joe. This I’d written in my prior blogs and this September Nick would be graduating Pre-K and heading to the Upper Moreland Elementary school to begin his academic big boy journey. My goals were met! Now today, no need for GPS, my car knew all by itself how to drive down to the hospital.
Up the elevator to the 15th floor, a quick left, then another and into the office to see Dr. Dave. My appointments were always made for Thursdays in the late afternoon. I would begin my appointment day at the store and gather everything that I would need to drive down to Jewelers Row and take care of business. I would visit my diamond dealers, setters, lazer jewelers, polisher, findings dealers and gold dealers, engraver and get any needed boxes or bags etc. I would keep my trusted briefcase firmly attached to me and after completing my work tasks head to my appointment. That briefcase never left my side and followed me while my blood was drawn, my weigh-in and my walk to the exam room to wait for Dr. Dave. “Keenan”! Always freaking upbeat, ” How ya feelin”? Always asked about the boys, Lor, my family and business. The obligatory exam followed and within a twenty minute window, I was on my way back to the store. In about 10 days to two weeks , I would call in to get my results and begin the cycle all over again.
Jay Roberts Jewelers was a fine jewelry store in Marlton, NJ. The owner Jay was a super nice guy and very successful in the field. Another guy with humble beginnings in Northeast Philly who made it big, hobnobbing with pro football and basketball players etc. He had a beautiful store and a great business. We did business together providing my store with some added bling and custom jewelry that I would occasionally need on memo for customers. On this particular day, I had driven to Marlton to pick up a few things that I needed. A beautiful afternoon in July. Sunny, bright, warm…but not too. A glorious day. On my way back to the store, I thought that sufficient time had passed since my appointment at Hahnemann and I would give Kim in the office a call. She was the head person in the office and usually conveyed the results of my bloodwork to me. I dialed the phone and asked to speak with Kim directly… like always. I was driving down Rt. 73 in Marlton, windows down, taking in the breeze and the warmth of the sun. “Hey Jeff”. I didnt like the sound of her voice. I asked about my bloodwork and awaited her response of “Everything looks great, see you in six months”. Instead, she told me that Dr. Dave wanted to speak with me.
I waited on hold for what felt like forever. The phone clicked in and he started to speak. “Keenan…how ya feelin”? “Where are you right now”? I told him that I was driving at the time and he asked me if I had a chance to pull over or call him back when I had a chance. I pulled into the parking lot of a Marriott hotel on 73 and parked under the shade of a Maple tree. “Ok Dave… what’s up”? He told me that there were inconsistencies with my bloodwork and that they needed me to come in as soon as possible to repeat the tests. The silence on my end of the phone compelled him to ask if I was ok. I told him that I needed him to be straight up with me…then and there. “Apparently”, he said, my white cell count was trending up again and my PCR test was also positive for the CML markers that confirm that I was relapsing back into the full blown Leukemia that I had fought so hard to overcome. Really?? I was so confident that I was in the clear! Three years out!
Dave asked me if I was ok and his voice was not so upbeat anymore. He told me to keep my head up and that he would put a plan into effect after I came in to repeat the bloodwork again, along with another bone marrow aspiration. He told me to be careful driving home and that Kim would call me to arrange an immediate appointment. “I’m so sorry bud…talk soon”. My sunroof was open and I looked up to the sun. The tears began to flow down my face and my chest tightened up to the point that I felt dizzy as panic and anxiety coursed through my body. Sobbing uncontrollablly, I couldn’t imagine how I would tell Lori that this was happening again! Why me? I couldn’t fu#&*%g believe it!! It was like a huge freaking rock just dropped out of that tree above me… landing on my head and crushing my whole being. This felt ten times worse than the first time they told me that I had Leukemia. And my boys. My Boys. Oh my God. So much for such a beautiful day. “Relapse” is an awful word. Bring it on…Bitch!
Next up: Breaking the News